My First Year with T1D
November 12, 2015 was the day that my world was turned upside down in so many ways. The words I never dreamt to hear were uttered by my doctor, “You have type 1 diabetes.” These are words that we can all remember at the time of diagnosis. That moment launched the lows and highs of type 1 diabetes (T1D).
The First Days
After leaving the doctor’s office, my husband, Evan, and I went to pick up my new diabetes supplies and insulin at the pharmacy. We taught ourselves how to check my blood sugar and administer insulin. I recall sitting at our kitchen table, the same table where we had talked about our plans to start a family the night before, and sobbing because I couldn’t prick my finger. We stopped and sobbed together. Evan checked for me and injected the insulin that night. The next day, I went to work, checked my blood sugar, gave myself insulin and shared the news with my coworkers. I was not strong enough to share the news with my students and I had no idea how to talk to them about T1D when I didn’t fully understand it myself. That weekend I was thrown into a cyclone of support and love from wonderful family members that came equipped with well-wishes, advice and hugs. But I wanted none of it—because I felt so shocked and guilty.
The First Weeks
Exactly one week after my type 1 diagnosis, I received a call from my family doctor that informed me that I had celiac disease as well. At that point, I was beyond defeated. The guilt and depression was mounting. I recall screaming at my husband that life wasn’t fair. We lived a very healthy lifestyle and realizing that I would not be allowed to become pregnant or exercise regularly for an undetermined amount of time was almost too much. I was angry at the world, yet I kept my feelings a secret from everyone but my poor husband. And once again, we had to adjust to the new lifestyle just two weeks before Thanksgiving. A few weeks after my diagnosis I had an appointment with my endocrinologist and finally started down the road to understand my diseases.
The First Three Months
Over winter break, I spent time getting connected on social media to look for support and interact with people living with type 1. I began listening to podcasts, reading articles and learning about technology. The desire to find my purpose was ignited. I started sharing my story with others and began to embrace my new life, but there were moments of sadness and resentment. I remember sharing with my third graders, showing them my supplies and reassuring them that I was going to be okay. 24 third graders wrapped their little arms around me. It was the first time since my diagnosis I felt strong and I knew I was meant to become an advocate for T1D. I started to journal my challenges. I started to really live my life and type 1 was not going to stop me from that. The silver lining was my first A1C check. I went from an 11.7 on day of diagnosis to a 5.7. That day I remembering thinking that I was going to show type 1 who was boss. How naïve I was.
Waiting
Waiting was the name of the game. I’m a very patient person when it comes to working with children, but I am not patient in any other aspect of my life. I had to wait for my Dexcom, a new endocrinologist, the approval to exercise, my Omnipod and the approval to start a family. All of the waiting started to take a toll on my mental health and it started to put a wrench in my marriage.
The Past Six Months
All of the things I was waiting for have come to pass. We started marriage counseling in June and I learned that it was okay to grieve the person I had known for 26 years. I didn’t know I could grieve over myself. Having the validation was liberating. We learned strategies for coping with the emotional roller coaster that type 1 and celiac bring into our daily lives. Evan and I have a marriage that is strong. We have embraced our new lifestyle and we count our blessings every day. For my mental health I write, meditate, paint, read and practice yoga.
The Future
Making the world a better place has always been my goal in life. My plan was to inspire children through teaching in the classroom. T1D advocacy has opened new doors and opportunities that I could never have imagined. This past year has taught me so much—and I would not have changed a thing. My passion to help and inspire others includes being aware of mental health with T1D and learning how to cope. Evan reminds me daily that when faced with a challenge, I am always stronger than I think I am. We are all stronger because of our type 1 diabetes.
Read The Year I was Diagnosed and Empowered by Brittany Compston.