Your Guide To Dating Someone With Type 1 Diabetes

If you stumbled on this guide, odds are you’re dating someone with type 1 diabetes (T1D). First of all, congratulations! You’ve found a human unicorn who’s probably packed with empathy, compassion, awareness and understanding you can’t even begin to relate to, but want to (or you wouldn’t be here). 

On the other hand, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or worried, that’s also valid. Maybe you’re feeling all of these ways! These feelings can co-exist. It can feel intimidating to jump into T1D while also dating someone new. 

Rest assured, there’s no need to worry. They say nervousness is the flip side of the excitement coin. In this guide, we share some fast facts and tips to help you start your new relationship on the right foot.

What is insulin?

Have you heard the person you’re dating talk about insulin? Good! That’s a key to their survival. Now let’s dig a little deeper into the answers to the questions you might be afraid to ask them like: “Why do you need insulin?” Fair. Let’s talk about it!

People with T1D don’t make insulin on their own, and insulin is what the body needs to process food. That’s why people with T1D use either an insulin pump or injections through a pen and needle to get the insulin they need.

Learn more about insulin delivery methods here.

What are they wearing?

When this question isn’t sexy foreplay, it’s matter-of-fact, and you’re probably talking about the insulin pump or continuous glucose monitor (CGM) you see on their body. It’s not a smoking patch, pager or prop. Although they could be wearing those too! 

In this case, so long as we’re on the same page, what you’re seeing is probably the tools they use to stay healthy and safe. A CGM tracks blood glucose day and night and alerts them when their blood sugar is high or low. An insulin pump delivers insulin throughout the day and at mealtimes via a small, flexible tube.

Learn more about diabetes devices here.

What’s with the extra baggage?

No, we’re not talking about past relationships or one-night stands gone wrong. We’re talking about the bags, backpacks and oversized purses you may see them lugging around. (And believe us, they’re for a good reason.)

People with T1D usually carry a few essential items wherever they go to help them stay healthy and safe. A backup blood glucose meter (BGM), test strips and a lancing device let them check their blood sugar and are usually a part of the mix. The meter shows the reading, the test strip collects the blood sample and the lancing device is used to prick a finger and get that sample. This can all be helpful to have on hand as a backup in case of CGM failure. 

Likewise, the person you’re dating might carry around backup CGM sensors or insulin pump supplies to be extra safe. They’ll also carry glucose gummies, powders, gels or candies to treat low blood sugar levels, so don’t steal their goodies (or you might not make it very far with them)!

If you really want to impress them, however, you could start carrying some low blood sugar snacks for them or having them available in your car, at your house and other places you frequent together.

Learn more about what should be in the person you’re dating’s daily T1D care kit here.

How can I help the person I’m dating take care of their T1D?

If you’re dating someone who lives with T1D, they’ll need to check their blood sugar levels and give themselves insulin throughout the day. There’s no need to worry when this happens. It’s simply part of their routine. How to be helpful depends on the person you’re dating. Everyone with diabetes wants their significant other involved in different ways, and those needs can change over time.

The best way to be supportive throughout their T1D journey is to communicate with them along the way. Don’t assume how they feel on day 1 is the same as how they feel on day 1,204 if you go the distance together. Always ask how you can best support them. 

This requires the person you’re dating to communicate, too. If they’re having a hard time with it, try to be patient and understanding. This might be the first time they’ve ever had support or sincere effort from a romantic partner! It can take time to build trust in this way. It’s literally their life at stake.

When you’re first dating, here are some questions you can ask to understand how they feel about you jumping into their T1D management:

• How involved would you like me to be in your diabetes management?
• If your blood sugar goes low, how can I best support you?
• Are there signs I should watch for if your blood sugar is high or low?
• What would be more annoying than helpful when I’m trying to support your T1D management?
• Does it annoy you if I ask about your blood sugar, or does it make you feel better or seen?
• How can I help you if you have a low blood sugar emergency? Will you teach me how to help if this ever happens?
• What boundaries would you like me to respect when it comes to your diabetes?
• What’s the best way I can support you?

This shouldn’t be a one-and-done conversation. As long as you’re with the person, check in with them to see how they’re feeling. Keep the conversation going. Likewise, they should check in and support you, too. While you may not be living with a chronic illness yourself, whoever you’re dating should understand that your needs matter, too.

What can the person I’m dating with T1D eat?

If they skip ice cream after dinner, it doesn’t mean they’re no fun. They’re likely just avoiding a spike, which is when blood sugar rises quickly. That said, people with T1D can absolutely enjoy sugary or other high-carb foods. They just need to take insulin beforehand to manage it. Don’t be the blood sugar or food police with them! That never leads anywhere good.

People with T1D also benefit from routine, so if they tend to eat the same meals, don’t give them too much flak. They’re probably just trying to support blood sugar predictability. If you want to help them nail down unpredictable foods when you’re out at parties or other events, check out another one of our supportive guides on the topic here.

Reducing variability in life with T1D leads to better blood sugars. It sounds boring, but it can prevent some nasty blood sugar rollercoaster rides that no one wants to stand in line for!

What does it feel like to have T1D every day?

Mood can shift with blood sugar levels, whether high or low. The person you’re dating might seem stubborn or irritable, or they might just need a juice box. 

High blood sugar (hyperglycemia) can cause:

• Nausea
• Deep breathing
• Confusion
• Flushed skin
• Drowsiness

Low blood sugar (hypoglycemia) can cause: 

• Shakiness
• Pale or sweaty skin
• Headache
• Hunger
• Weakness
• Trembling

If you notice these signs, the best first step is to ask the person you’re dating if they need help. Most people with T1D know exactly how to handle these moments and will take care of them themselves, but they still want to be seen and acknowledged. It’s important to show through your actions that you understand the burden of T1D and want to make sure they’re okay.

Let’s talk about sex

Whether devices are on or off, sex is absolutely something people with T1D can enjoy. Like any physical activity, it’s important to monitor blood sugar and avoid going too low, which can be managed with a high-sugar snack nearby. 

Communicate with them during sex. If they need to stop while you’re intimate, be patient. It’s always better to prioritize health and allow them the time and space to treat a high or low rather than just “getting through it.” Odds are, you both will end up not enjoying it, and you won’t be present if you rush because of diabetes.

Read more on sex and T1D here.

Alcohol and other substances

Alcohol can make blood sugar levels less predictable, so it’s especially important to watch for signs of a low when drinking is involved. Check out our alcohol guide for how people with T1D can navigate drinking safely, and read more on marijuana and T1D.

Some people with T1D may avoid drinking altogether because the way it makes them feel is too close to how they feel when they’re low or makes managing the condition too difficult. If they feel this way, support them; don’t pressure them into drinking with you.

How to help the person you’re dating with T1D in an emergency

If they ever pass out or become unconscious, call emergency services right away and treat the situation as severe hypoglycemia. You may need to give emergency glucagon, either as a nasal spray or an injection. If they’re conscious, fast-acting glucose should be given immediately, like a juice box, candy or glucose tablets.

Get vulnerable with the person you’re dating with T1D and ask questions

Don’t be afraid to ask questions to understand T1D better. Communicate, communicate, communicate!

Just try not to turn it into 20 questions or offer your own medical opinions. Even if you are a nurse or doctor, you’re not theirs. They know what they’re doing. Be proud of how strong and amazing they are, and support them however you can. If you’re reading this, you already are.

Want to move your relationship from casual to wifey or hubby? Dig into the ins and outs of T1D here. It’s time to become a T1D expert for the person you love!